horace | xxx
eXplore. eXperiment. eXperience.
Sometimes I wish I could frankenstein together the perfect partner from personality traits and body parts of past partners. Her heart. That ass. Her loyalty. Her kink. Those thighs. If y’all are going to be monsters anyway, I’d might as well make my own.
The time you have to live is like water you carry around in a leaking bucket that’s impossible to fix. Be careful who you allow to drink from that bucket and for how long.
“I’m not totally mad at you. I’m just sad. You’re all locked up in that little world of yours, and when I try knocking on the door, you just sort of look up for a second and go right back inside.”— Haruki Murakami (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
If black men learn no other lesson from the brutality we’re experiencing in current American society—understanding that NOW is the least severe of our entire long history of indignities in the Western world—we should come to a very real, visceral understanding that women and girls have been suffering dramatically more severe brutalization and indignities since the very beginning of humanity and to this day. To this second. And if that realization doesn’t create in you a raging, kindred commitment to their ABSOLUTE equity and safety within society, then you have no moral ground for yours, and you can fuck off.
Frida Kahlo told her husband this, and there has never been a more accurate representation of my love language:
“I’m not asking you to kiss me, nor apologize to me when I think you’re wrong. I won’t even ask you to hug me when I need it most. I don’t ask you to tell me how beautiful I am, even if it’s a lie, nor write me anything beautiful. I won’t even ask you to call me to tell me how your day went, nor tell me you miss me. I won’t ask you to thank me for everything I do for you, nor to care about me when my soul is down, and of course, I won’t ask you to support me in my decisions. I won’t even ask you to listen to me when I have a thousand stories to tell you. I won’t ask you to do anything, not even be by my side forever. Because if I have to ask you, I don’t want it anymore.”
Thinking with your head often simply means thinking with the heart of the person you’ll be later… tomorrow… a year from now… instead of the heart of the person you are right now. #feelingforward
Your strengths never make up for your failings. At best, your “good” momentarily or occasionally distracts from your “bad.” True self improvement focuses on cutting away the negative, not accentuating the positive.
Decide what you want your life to be, and then let every decision you make be in service to that.
Everything is simple
Complexity looks like chaos to those who can’t see patterns.
When you really consider how little time a person has to even exist, and what percentage of that time can realistically be spent feeling joy, and what percentage of that time is realistically spent feeling pain or sadness or like we’re not enough, making the conscious decision to let someone down is heartbreakingly cruel.
Be Needy
It’s okay to tell a prospective partner what you need. It’s okay to tell someone you’re dating what you need. It’s okay to tell your spouse of 20 years what you need. You’re not beholden to who you were yesterday, your past needs, others’ feelings, or cultural institutions. It’s okay to change your needs, or to change your situation when those needs aren’t going to be met.
Grind
The willingness and resolve to grind is the secret to everything. Not to work hard or to work smart, per sé, but simply to work… to start working and to keep working toward a goal, that’s how you get to a better life.
Burning Bridges
Because sometimes, destroying the way back is the only way to stop lingering and move forward.